Grammar I vs. Me |
The Blue Book of Grammar and Punctuation

I vs. Me

You don’t need to learn how to diagram a sentence to be able to learn the rules of grammar and punctuation. Let me help you use pronouns correctly without any unnecessary jargon.

First, let’s define a pronoun: a pronoun is a word that takes the place of a noun. We can divide pronouns into three categories:

Subject pronouns
I, you, he, she, it, we, they

Object pronouns
me, you, him, her, it, us, them

Possessive pronouns
mine, my, yours, his, hers, her, its, ours, theirs

The following rule not only makes sense but is simple.

Rule: Use one of the subject pronouns when it is the subject of the sentence.

Example: I hit the ball.
Who hit the ball? I did. So “I” is the subject.

Usually, these subject pronouns sound right to most of us.

Example: He and I will meet at the gym.
Who will meet at the gym? He will meet at the gym. I will meet at the gym. So “he” and “I” are both the subjects.

Sometimes we want to say, “Him and me will . . .” or “Him and I will . . . .” You can remember the correct pronouns by saying each pronoun alone in the sentence. It probably won’t sound right to you to say, “Him will . . .” or “Me will . . . .”

Now, this next rule is difficult because it doesn’t sound right to most of us.

Rule: Use a subject pronoun following state-of-being verbs such as am, are, is, was, were, appeared, seemed, etc.

Example: It is she.
Example: It was we who won the election.

Because we don’t speak this way, we can’t use our ear to help us with this rule. This is a good time to discuss the difference between spoken language and written language, particularly when it comes to tests and formal papers. We speak informally but must write more formally. Frankly, if I knock on someone’s door and am asked, “Who is it?” I am not going to say, “It is I” for fear that the person on the other side of the door will think I’m weird and never open up. However, if I am taking an exam or writing a report, I will try to spot these state-of-being verbs and check my pronoun usage.

The next rule does sound right to most of us.

Rule: Use one of the object pronouns when the pronoun is not a subject and it doesn’t follow a state-of-being verb.

Example: Nancy gave the gift to her.
Example: Please remind him or me.

(Remember, leave out one of the pronouns and you will be able to hear the correct answer.) Many of us have been brainwashed to believe that “I” is somehow more correct than “me.” Not so. “I” and “me” follow the same rules as all other pronouns. Would you say, “Please give it to I”? Of course not.

Example: Between you and me, I think Sandy cheated.

Again, me is not the subject nor does it follow one of those state-of-being verbs. So we must use the object case. (For those of you with some grammar background, you and me in that sentence are both objects of the preposition between.)


Pop Quiz
Select the correct sentence.

1A. Arlene asked he and I to complete the job.
1B. Arlene asked he and me to complete the job.
1C. Arlene asked him and I to complete the job.
1D. Arlene asked him and me to complete the job.

2A. He and I completed the job for Arlene.
2B. He and me completed the job for Arlene.
2C. Him and I completed the job for Arlene.
2D. Him and me completed the job for Arlene.


Pop Quiz Answers

1D. Arlene asked him and me to complete the job.

2A. He and I completed the job for Arlene.

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304 Comments on I vs. Me

304 responses to “I vs. Me

  1. Tamara M Anderson says:

    Which is correct?
    -Both Eddie and me are scheduled for an appointment next Tuesday. (me as object; where the subject is implied to be someone else who did the scheduling)
    -Both Eddie and I are scheduled for an appointment next Tuesday. (applying the test of breaking them out as separate sentences: I am scheduled for an appointment next Tuesday.)

    • says:

      Eddie and I are the subjects of the sentence. Using the simplified method, remove Eddie from your sentence in order to know whether to use I or me: I am scheduled for an appointment next Tuesday.

  2. Lamberto Mancino says:

    I’m talking and my friend rebuts.
    Here our quotes.
    “What you think?”
    “I won’t tell you!”
    Are “me” and “him” used properly or not?

    • says:

      We do not recommend using this format in formal writing. The following is preferable:
      I asked, “What do you think?”
      “I won’t tell you!” he answered.

  3. Hari says:

    Please help me to choose the correct sentence:

    1) “No one can help you but me”
    2) “No one can help you but I”

    I can try to mentally complete sentence 2 according to the rule suggested by you on the blog by rephrasing it as “No one can help you but i can help,” but will that not be valid and hence wrong?

    And if “me” is the correct choice, will the sentence be rephrased as “No one can help you, but it can be me”?

    Your efforts have been a huge help for non-native speakers like me to appreciate the beauty of the “English language.”

    • says:

      The correct answer in this instance is sentence 1: No one can help you but me. The reason is that the word but is not functioning as a conjunction; rather, it is serving as a preposition meaning “except”: No one can help you (except) me. Another example would be No one but (except) her came to the meeting.

  4. Bob Anderson says:

    Thanks for allowing Joe and me to hunt your land.
    Thanks for allowing Joe and I to hunt your land.

    • says:

      As the post states, “Use one of the object pronouns when the pronoun is not a subject and it doesn’t follow a state-of-being verb.” Therefore, the pronoun me is correct.
      Using the simplified method, remove Joe from your sentence in order to know whether to use I or me: Thanks for allowing me to hunt on your land.

  5. Anthony Regine says:

    I found your comment on using the pronouns separately to choose the correct one to be very helpful.
    I passed this information to my college educated grandchildren, and they finally got the idea!! Thank you.

  6. Raj says:

    “Best before 3 months from the manufacturing date. ” Is this right? How can we use a product before it is manufactured? I think it should be
    ”Best within 3 months from the manufacturing date.“
    Am I right?

  7. Pat List says:

    Is it ever correct to say, “Me and my sons went to ……”?

    • says:

      No, as the post states, “Use one of the subject pronouns when it is the subject of the sentence.” The correct subjects of your sentence are “My sons and I.”

  8. Nazirite says:

    A. You and I are to pay the fine.
    B. He and I are to pay the fine.

    Please which is correct out of A and B or are both correct ?

  9. Mike Anthony says:

    I’ve just followed this long-running thread with interest, as I have a similar question concerning the use of I and me.
    It’s this: In some dialogue I’ve written, a character says:
    “I’m sure there are many people who are more influential than I.”
    Should that be:
    “I’m sure there are many people who are more influential than I am.”?
    Or even:
    “I’m sure there are many people who are more influential than me.”?

    • says:

      Because completing the sentence, i.e., I’m sure there are many people who are more influential than I am is correct, then I’m sure there are many people who are more influential than I also is correct.

  10. Rhawkz says:

    I’m writing a story and have written a sentence something a long the lines of “Should a great man, such as I, be condescended to, like a child?”
    Microsoft word is telling me that I is wrong and it should be me, but the way I understand it the full sentence would be, “such as I am.” Is it correct?

  11. Greg M says:

    I’m stunned daily by the incorrect use of the simple “he and I” or “him and me” constructs. Even journalists and newscasters frequently say stuff like “him and I”…. blows me away. And I’m only going on what I learned last century in 7th Grade.

  12. Trisha Whaley says:

    Which one should I use in this sentence: I had other plans for my daughter and I, I had other plans for my daughter and me, or I had other plans for me and my daughter?

    • says:

      As the post states, use one of the object pronouns when the pronoun is not a subject and it doesn’t follow a state-of-being verb. Thus, use me in your sentence. The usual convention is to place ourselves last, therefore we recommend I had other plans for my daughter and me.

  13. Jebron says:

    I need help to determine the correct usage. Which is correct, “After that it was only you and I” or “After that it was only you and me”?

    If I read it so it sounds correct I would use “It was only you and me.” (It was only me). However, my grammar checker indicates “I” is correct.

    What is the rule in this case?

  14. roger says:

    I was born and raised in the US with Asian parents who both wrote for a living. Anyway, none of it rubbed up on me because every time they tried to teach me, I fell asleep. Now I have a problem that I know you can solve.
    I don’t want to bore you with the story behind how this came to be but here’s the question;
    Pronoun (I): In present tenses, nouns and verbs form plurals in opposite ways nouns ADD an s to the singular form, BUT
    verbs REMOVE an s from the singular form.
    it’s all good; but what about this?
    He sees, she sees, it sees….. I sees? Even to someone who is as careless as I am in grammar, This is wrong…
    could someone please explain this to me? ever since a friend asked me this question which he hoped I would be able to answer, it kind of woke me up and embarrassed me at the same time- that knowing how to explain what you know, is as important as knowing itself.

    • says:

      Forming the plurals of verbs can be complicated. Verbs with a third-person singular noun or pronoun as a subject have an added s on the end. With plural nouns (but also the singular pronouns I and you) there is never an added s at the end of a verb. More information can be found in our post When to Add s to a Verb.

  15. Ernest A. says:

    In what category do the indirect object and reflexive pronouns belong to?

  16. Stewart Shane says:

    I so often hear “I vs me” errors in movies and on TV. Why? Do professional writers not know the simple rules regarding nominative and objective pronouns? Or do script writers dumb down their dialogue because they think their audience is stupid or afraid to hear correctly spoken English? Or what? I am so sick of terrible grammar being foisted upon movie goers and TV watchers. I find such grammar errors akin to (or worse than) scratching on a chalkboard.

  17. Doug Carlson says:

    A useful follow-up article could discuss proper uses of reflexive pronouns, such as “myself.” Misuse of reflexive pronouns has become common, such as, “David and myself talked to the visiting head coach after the game” (instead of the simple “David and I”).

  18. Stjepan Pavljasevic says:

    GrammarBook said:
    Example: Between you and me, I think Sandy cheated.
    Again, me is not the subject nor does it follow one of those state-of-being verbs. So we must use the object case.

    What about this example: It is something between you and I?
    Which rule does apply here? We have the state-of-being verb “is” here, hence we should use “I”. But then this example contradicts the GrammarBook example.

    • says:

      The state-of-being verb is contained in the clause “It is something.” The pronouns are objects of the preposition “between.” Therefore, use “me.”

    • Chris says:

      I find it helpful when considering these “between” problems to replace the word “between” with “within” and making it just about me. So in this case, it would obviously be “It is within me”, not “It is within I”. I hope that that helps!

  19. Kate says:

    Wondering if anyone could weigh in on which use of I versus me is correct? The sentences are exactly the same but for the 2nd to last word.

    Tuscan buildings with tile roofs out the window and a glass of Prosecco in our hands, makes Jane and I smile.
    Tuscan buildings with tile roofs out the window and a glass of Prosecco in our hands, makes Jane and me smile.

    • says:

      The subjects of your sentence are the nouns buildings and glass. Therefore, you need to use the plural verb make. More information can be found in our post When to Add s to a Verb.
      The object pronoun me is correct in your sentence. If you leave out Jane, you would say, “make me smile,” not “make I smile.”

  20. Ain says:

    I have a question that is there any subject in the Sentence that my name is David???

  21. Aichu says:

    On the subject of subject-object, does anyone know whether “you” in “thank you” is the subject or the object? This is the only personal pronoun in Standard English Language where the subject and the object forms are identical. Hence, I would like to know.
    I read somewhere that the phrase originates from a person saying that the other person thought of them.
    If we treat “thank” as archaic nonstandard past tense of “think”, it would be “you thank” (you thought [of me]), and hence “you” would be the subject.
    If we treat “thank you” as abbreviation of “I thank you”, “you” would be the object.

    Thank you in advance for you replies.

  22. Brenda says:

    Am I correct grammatically with the following sentence? It’s very confusing as it isn’t how I would speak, but with the rules I have been taught, this should be correct in writing.

    “Thank you for the courtesy extended to Andrew Berg and me during our recent visit to your facility.”

    Was taught always put others before you, hence the name first. Then taught when you have 2 pronouns, you should be able to remove one of them and the “and” and the sentence should still read correctly.

    Input would be appreciated.

  23. Issa says:

    What is a better way of saying this sentence:
    “I want to let you know that my sister and I will be paying.”
    “I want to let you know that my sister and me will be paying.”
    “My sister and I” sounds better by the ear, but I’ve always been confused about using “I” twice in a sentence if that sentence starts with “I”. Do I remain the subject throughout the sentence?

    Thank you.

  24. Ashmitta says:

    Is this sentence; I, John am a high school graduate grammatically correct?

    • says:

      You are missing one comma after the word John. Our post Commas with Appositives explains that an appositive is a word or word group that defines or further identifies the noun or noun phrase preceding it. When the noun preceding the appositive provides sufficient identification on its own, use commas around the appositive. In your sentence. the word I is a precise identifier, therefore, the appositive John is surrounded by commas. You also need a period at the end of the sentence.
      I, John, am a high school graduate.

  25. Rico says:

    This one please. “It must be me an English teacher.” “It must be I an English teacher.”

  26. Ian says:

    I wrote this photo caption, which I believe to be correct: “Theo and I last November…” Someone is telling me it should be “Theo and me last November…” but I don’t believe this is correct – am I wrong?

  27. Steve says:

    I was at a wedding today. The minister asked who was giving the daughter away. The father said, “Her mother and me.” Is this correct? I would think it should be, “Her mother and I.” An English teacher who was at the wedding said that the father said it correctly.

  28. Ran says:

    Is this correct?

    “I would like to book accommodation for my family and I from the 11th of March until the 15th.”

    (From IELTS writing general Test by Mike Wattie.)

    Thank you

    • No, there are several errors in the sentence. The plural noun accommodations should be used. Also, the object pronoun me is correct. Me is not the subject; it is the direct object of the verb book, so we must use the object case.
      “I would like to book accommodations for my family and me from the 11th of March until the 15th.”

  29. MissMash says:

    What I have difficulty understanding is, how would you use two possessive pronouns in one sentence instead of saying ‘our?’ “Hers and my soccer ball” doesn’t sound right.

    • says:

      The phrase her and my soccer ball is grammatically correct. Compound possessives are often clunky as well as confusing, therefore we recommend care in using them.

  30. Dante says:

    Thank God that the written word changes. “Myne hart is hevy” is not how I want to read English. Tell your daughter that the language hasn’t changed yet, and until it does, that poor pronoun use is wrong. If the standard does change some day, she can feel good about it then, but not just yet.

    My biggest pet peeve among “professional” writing errors is poor parallelism. It drives me nuts. I hope it doesn’t ever become standard.

  31. Cj says:

    Your explanations of a simple question is so lame. We are not ALL geniuses! We do not all have a degree in English grammar. Many of us do not have a degree at all. Can’t you just give an answer in layman terms?

    I guess “ME just doesn’t understand!”

    Give me a break!

    I simply wanted to know which is correct, “Him and I feel the same about each other,” OR

    “Him and me feel the same about each other.”

    I would never use “Him and me.” However, I am watching a television program where a person is saying “Him and me” over and over which sounds absolutely ridiculous to me.

    Can’t you just tell me which is correct without all the other unnecessary information?

    • It sounds like you came to our site looking for an easy answer. We prefer to help our readers understand the reasons why certain words are used, so they can use them properly in the future. Like it or not, the way a person speaks and writes makes an impression on others.
      Of course, television shows do not always represent good grammar. To answer your question without “unnecessary information”: neither sentence is correct.

  32. apple says:

    1. They are my father, my mother, my brother and I. or
    They are my father, my mother, my brother and me.

    2. They are father, mother, brother and I.
    They are father, mother, brother and me.

    I would like to know which is correct, thanks

    • says:

      You need to use the subject complement I in your sentences. More information can be found in our post I Subject, Your Honor.
      They are my father, my mother, my brother, and I.
      They are Father, Mother, Brother, and I.

  33. Karla says:

    He is no different than you or I/me?

  34. amit says:

    Who all are planning come to school on 26 January

  35. Deborah says:

    I would want to be corrected if it were I making the error.

    I would want to be corrected if it were me making the error.

    Which is correct and why? Thank you.

  36. Kathy says:

    Would it be Luis and he agreed to borrow a boat.
    The boy in the speedboat was he.

    I feel it shouldn’t be but would like to check. Thanks. very interesting website.

  37. DJ says:

    Which is proper grammar:

    1. Thank you for hosting me and my family.
    2. Thank you for hosting my family and me.

  38. Mahbubur Rahman Sarker says:

    How to write a sentence like…..

    I, Mahbubur Rahman is (or am ?) live in Bangladesh and a Bangladeshi by birth.

    => I need to know if it is correct to writ in the form “I,Name……….”. An is there any other mistakes ?

    • There are several ways you may write such a sentence. For instance:
      “My name is Mahbubur Rahman. I was born in Bangladesh and still live there.”
      “My name is Mahbubur Rahman. I live in Bangladesh and am a Bangladeshi by birth.”
      “I, Mahbubur Rahman, live in Bangladesh and am a Bangladeshi by birth.”

  39. Ray says:

    My card playing family has been arguing about this for years. When declaring a trump suit which is correct?
    “hearts is trump” or “hearts are trump”

    • says:

      The suit whose cards are trumps for a particular game is often used in plural. Therefore, write “hearts are trumps.”

      • Michael says:

        In the previous answer, I don’t agree that saying “Hearts are Trumps” is correct. “Hearts are trump” with meaning “Cards with hearts on them are the trump suit” would be correct. Trumps is used in plural as a verb, as in “My queen of hearts trumps your ace of diamonds”, with trumps as the verb meaning “playing a trump card to win”. The plural of trump as the noun would be trump cards not trumps, correct? So you could say, “Hearts are trump cards”.

        trump definition:

        noun: trump;
        1. (in bridge, whist, and similar card games) a playing card of the suit chosen to rank above the others, which can win a trick where a card of a different suit has been led.

        •the suit having the rank above the others in a particular hand.

        •a valuable resource that may be used, especially as a surprise, in order to gain an advantage.
        noun: trump card; plural noun: trump cards

        “in this month General Haig decided to play his trump card: the tank”

        verb: trump; 3rd person present: trumps; past tense: trumped; past participle: trumped; gerund or present participle: trumping

        1. (in bridge, whist, and similar card games) play a trump on (a card of another suit), having no cards of the suit led.

        • says:

          We are not experts in bridge; however, our answer was based on Merriam-Webster’s definition of the word trump which says, “the suit whose cards are trumps for a particular hand —often used in plural.”

  40. Paula says:

    “The listeners need to be smart like I.” Or, “the listeners need to be smart like me.”

    • The word like is a preposition in your sentence. Prepositions take objects. So “like me” is the choice, since me is the object form of I.

      Traditionalists frown on using like as a conjunction in formal writing. This means that “like I am” would not be a good idea. If you want “am” in the sentence, “like I am” should be replaced by “as I am” or “the way I am.”

  41. Joy says:

    What’s the error?
    The man with his four children are going to the zoo.

    • The phrase “with his four children” is misplaced in the sentence. Also, the verb “are” is incorrect. We recommend rewriting the sentence to read “The man is going to the zoo with his four children.”

  42. Marla says:

    Which is correct:

    The trip will be more fun with Brook and I.
    The trip will be more fun with Brook and me.

  43. Vadim Alekseev says:

    Can use Me and my family or it is not right?

    • says:

      The phrase is only correct if it is used as the object of the sentence. If used as the subject, write “my family and I.”
      Nadia cooked a wonderful meal for me and my family.
      My family and I cooked a wonderful meal for Nadia.

  44. MARC says:

    I just want to know correct to use and please explain. thank you!

    Miss Samantha and i is/are in a relationship.

  45. Steve says:

    What’s wrong with this sentence?
    I give him a piece of cake.

    • says:

      From the information you provided, we find nothing technically wrong with your sentence, but it is unusual.

  46. Vanessa says:

    Am I correct in saying “Mark remained involved in the activities of my sisters and me”

  47. Narelle says:

    When referring to a table or picture that is located below the text, which is the correct grammar?

    In the below table
    In the table below

  48. Faith says:

    Which is correct and why?

    Kevin is as strong as I?
    Kevin is as strong as me?

    • says:

      If you mentally complete the sentence you would say “Kevin is as strong as I am.” Therefore, use the pronoun I.

  49. B J Simmons says:

    Which is correct?

    They did not object to me helping them. Or

    They did not object to my helping them.

    • says:

      Our blog What is a Gerund and Why Care states, “It is helpful to recognize gerunds because if a noun or pronoun precedes a gerund, it is usually best to use the possessive form of that noun or pronoun.” Therefore, we recommend using the possessive pronoun my before the gerund helping.

  50. Trudi R says:

    I took a photo and captioned it “me and the boys” is this wrong?

    • says:

      Your caption’s most likely meaning is “This is (or Here are) the boys and I.” In that case, your caption would be “the boys and I.” In the less likely event that you intended your caption to mean “This is a photo of the boys and me,” then you may write “the boys and me” or “me and the boys.”

  51. Maya says:

    I corrected my daughter recently, only to be corrected myself by a friend of mine and I wonder where the truth lies, really. The sentence was: “Me, Julia, Sarah, Lilly and Natalie went to the movies.” I told my daughter to always place herself at the end of enumerating people. Then she said: “Julia, Sarah, Lilly, Natalie and me…” I corrected her to say “…and I.” My friend objected and said it was “…and me.” Who is right? Another friend later suggested that if it were only one person before “and I,” I would have been correct, but since there are multiple persons, the correct pronoun is “me.” Thank you in advance for your time.

    • says:

      Choosing the correct pronoun has nothing to do with how many people are included, it has to do with whether the people are part of the subject or the object of a sentence. If you leave out “Julia, Sarah, Lilly, and Natalie” you will be able to hear that the correct answer is the subject pronoun I. You would not say “Me went to the movies.”

  52. jon says:

    I hope you can help me with this sentence:

    “It was me to whom the gift was given.”

    Is it correct? It seems correct because “me” here refers to the object of the gift, and “to whom” hints calls for an objective pronoun. It also answers the question: to whom was the gift given? (It was given to me.)

    The problem is, it goes against the rule you provided in your article. I hope you can clear it up for me. Thank you very much.

    • says:

      Our blog I Subject, Your Honor offers more information on this subject. In the phrase It was I, the word I is a subject complement: it = I. The word I is a kind of secondary subject. Therefore, write “It was I to whom the gift was given.”

  53. Sophie says:

    please help:
    My mother saw my brother and (I,me) fighting for sweets.

  54. supriya nayak says:

    Ranny was with sally and me/I.
    it will b me ya I.

  55. Maycon says:

    in gramma what is right ? my sister hanna always help me or my sister hanna always helps me

  56. TJ says:

    Which one is correct if I use “or” instead of “and”:

    1. Jane or I;
    2. Jane or myself;
    3. Jane or me;

  57. John says:

    so would I say “John and I”,”John and me”, “Me and John”, or “I and John” “were best friends in school”? I think I and John but I want to make sure.

  58. Matt says:

    Why are we Brainwashed?

    I know its wrong, as I have been corrected…
    “This Photo is of Jay and I.”

    We were taught in grade school (I am not highly educated) to only refer to yourself as ME when you are the only “person” like “Bring it to me”

    Are todays schools setting up students for failure?

    • The rule that you should “only refer to yourself as me when you are the only person” is incorrect. For example, in the sentence “I am planning on going to a movie tomorrow,” there is no other person mentioned, and the word I is used because I refers to a subject pronoun. In your other sentence, “This is a photo of Jay and me,” the object pronoun me is used because it’s the object of the preposition of.

  59. Pam Henry says:

    Please settle a difference of opinion in our office. Can you also give us the rule which applies?
    Should the following sentence end in me or I?

    No one knows the Smiths better than my wife and I/me.

    • Our Rule 7 of Pronouns says, “To decide whether to use the subject or object pronoun after the words than or as, mentally complete the sentence.” Your completed sentence would read “No one knows the Smiths better than my wife and I know them.” Therefore, the pronoun I is correct.

  60. lori says:

    is “me and Steve weren’t at the school ” or is ” Steve and I weren’t at the school “

  61. Jennifer says:

    For the title of an essay, which would be correct? My Brother and I or Me and My Brother or My Brother and Me?

  62. vis says:

    such rules do not apply to you and I…Please correct

    • Use the object pronoun me when the pronoun is not a subject and it doesn’t follow a state-of-being verb. Also, use a capital letter to begin a sentence.
      Such rules do not apply to you and me.

  63. David A. says:

    I don’t think this question belongs in this section, but I couldn’t figure out where to ask. I am sure “Mike’s and my” in the following sentence is correct. However, it sounds strange to me. I cannot think of a better construction. I cannot write “our” because we have not been mentioned in a prior sentence. However, the birthday was mentioned previously. Are “Mike’s and my” and “our” just adjectives? I am probably making this way too complicated. Could you please help me? Thank you.

    I can never forget your birthday because today was also Mike’s and my anniversary.


    Today was also Mike’s and my anniversary, so I can ever forget your birthday.

  64. C Weaver says:

    Is this sentence correct

    Here’s a picture of me and my wife.

  65. Lauren says:

    For the sentence, “A day in the life of ‘Name’ and ….”. Would the … be I or me?
    So, ‘A day in the life of Suzie and I’ or ‘A day in the life of Suzie and me’

  66. Jennifer says:

    Which one is correct?
    You and your loved ones
    Your loved ones and you

  67. Ania says:

    I need someone’s help. I’m an English teacher but not a native one. I have always been taught that we should say ‘me and my family’ or ‘my family and I’. But recently I heard someone saying ‘I and my family’. It sounded really strange and I’m wondering if it’s correct as I would never use such structure. Could you explain me if it’s proper to use such phrase and if there is any difference in usage of those two?

    Thank you in advance

  68. Nathan G says:

    Even though we went to bed exhausted , sleep for Jeremy and I was impossible.

    Is this sentence correct?

    Some explanation would be much appreciated.

    • The word for is a preposition so pronouns following it are objects of the preposition. Therefore, use the object pronoun me. Also, there should not be a space before your comma.

      Even though we went to bed exhausted, sleep for Jeremy and me was impossible.

  69. Jim Peterson says:

    I am baffled by the confusion over subjective and objective personal pronouns. On the one hand people follow the grammatical rules almost perfectly as long as only one person is referenced in the phrase. And yet the moment a second pronoun is added it seems that all the rules are summarily tossed out the window. What’s with the inconsistency? I can appreciate that languages change and evolve and that the reasons can be complex. And yet it would seem that in most cases a change would serve to simplify or abbreviate sentence structure. But this trend appears to do neither. It actually complicates things because while there are very clear rules that are followed when only one personal pronoun is use, the introduction of a second pronoun in the phrase seemingly renders the grammatical guideline irrelevant and usage becomes random. How complicated is that? My personal hunch is that this trend stems from laziness and a decreasing ability among large segments of the population to think and speak with clarity and accuracy. But if I ever say such a thing I get nailed with all sorts of criticism. People talk about my inability to accept the fluidity of language and suggest that I’m some sort of Luddite dinosaur from a previous age… Ho hum.

  70. Carolyn says:

    Which is correct for an invite?

    Please join her family and I for this wonderful occasion or Please join her family and me for this wonderful occasion?

  71. ana gatubela says:

    please, would you like to put a long test of many questions about this subject? it could be useful to check if we understood or not. thank you

    • We do have a “Pronouns” quiz on the website consisting of eleven questions. The quiz covers many different pronouns, not just I and me. We also have eight more quizzes (eighty more questions) on pronouns on the website for quiz subscribers.

  72. Ed S says:

    Me and my buddy went swimming.


    I and my buddy went swimming?

    (Granted the it is preferred that the other party comes first — My buddy and I went swimming — but that is not an invariable rule, or is it?)

    • Use the subject pronoun I, since it is one of the subjects in your sentence. Since it is grammatical courtesy for the writer to place his or her name last, “My buddy and I” is recommended.

  73. Mark H says:

    I was wondering if you could help me with a pronoun question. When asked a question why do we always reply with object pronouns rather than subject pronouns. For example
    “Who is this in the photo” The one word reply would be “me” which makes sense as you are the subject of the sentence as in “It(photo/subject) is me(object). However, when asked the question “who wants a piece of cake?” we also respond with “me”. This does not seem to make sense as surely I would be the subject of this answer were it converted into a full sentence as in “I want a piece of cake”. Thanks for your time.

    • Informal spoken responses often wrongly use object pronouns instead of subject pronouns. In your first example sentence, saying “Me” as a response could be correct as the shortened form of the sentence “That is a photo of me.” Answering with “Me” as a response to “Who wants a piece of cake?” is grammatically incorrect.

  74. Gavi says:

    I generally follow these rules very closely. One issue that came up in a bet today was the correct response to “Who did that?” Is the correct response “Me” or “I”? Similarly, the proper ending to the sentence “You are better than me/I” is being debated. Your assistance in settling this would be greatly appreciated!

    • The complete answer to “Who did that?” is “I did that.” Therefore, use the subjective I. If you mentally complete your second example sentence, you could write “You are better than I am.” Therefore, the word I is correct.

  75. marge says:

    My husband was at a yard sale recently and found a children’s book entitled “My brother and I” He was calling the author out for improper grammar. I thought the title was fine. What is your call on this title? It really is not a sentence. Thanks, Marge

    • You are correct that the title is not a sentence. “My Brother and I” could refer to a sentence such as “My brother and I are best friends,” or it could refer to “This is a book about my brother me,” in which case the title is not grammatically correct.

  76. ravi says:

    let’s keep this between you and i. is this sentence correct?

  77. Tracy says:

    “Things were never the same between him and I, after I went into the priesthood.”

    I am struggling with the “between him and I”. Is it him and I or him and me?

    Between is a preposition so are the pronouns objects of the preposition and therefore be him and me? Also, should pronouns be both subjective or both objective?

    Thank you.

  78. Dain says:

    Can someone tell me which sentence is correct, please?
    ‘ He and I like to play computer games.’
    ‘ He and I likes to play computer games.’

    Thank You.

  79. hana says:

    with names would it be:

    Richard and he must have been…


    He and richard must have been….

  80. Mark says:

    Here is a little trick I learned many years ago.

    John and I own the car.
    I own the car.
    The car belongs to John and me. (not I)
    The car belongs to me.

    • Yes, when I or me is paired with another name, it can be helpful to mentally drop the other name and then you can hear which one is correct. We also mention this “trick” in the Grammar Blogs “I vs. Me” and “I vs. Me (Review).”

  81. Lori says:

    Can you please tell me which sentence is correct?

    Thank you for taking the time to speak with Joann and me this morning.

    Thank you for taking the time to speak with Joann and I this morning.

    • The rule in our I vs. Me blog says, “Use one of the object pronouns when the pronoun is not a subject and it doesn’t follow a state of being verb.” The object pronoun is me.

      Thank you for taking the time to speak with Joann and me this morning.

  82. Marilyn says:

    I am writing an autobiography.

    In one paragraph, I am talking about my mother.

    How many times is it okay to say her first name in the same paragraph. Also, for the words, her, she etc.

    • There is no specific grammar rule covering repetition of words in a paragraph. How does it sound to your own ear when you read it silently and out loud? If it doesn’t sound right, rewrite. There are many helpful websites with tips for writers. You might search on “how to avoid excessive repetition of names and pronouns” or something of that sort.

  83. Karen says:

    When mentally completing a sentence to determine which pronoun is correct, is it acceptable to mentally insert words before the final pronoun? For example,
    “This helps you as much as I/me.”

    It could be…..

    This helps you as much as (it helps) me. (Note that here I am mentally inserting the words it helps before the pronoun me.)


    This helps you as much as I (help you). (Here I am literally mentally completing the sentence without inserting any words.)

    Are both I and me correct depending upon context, or is only I correct because I had to insert words before me to make that sentence make sense?

    • Mentally completing the sentence will sometimes mean inserting words and sometimes adding words depending on the sentence. Your example, “This helps you as much as I/me,” would be understood by almost everyone to mean “This helps you as much as it helps I/me.” By inserting the words it helps, you’ve made it easier to select the correct pronoun me. The sentence “This helps you as much as I” may be a grammatically correct shortening of “This helps you as much as I help you,” but it is an extremely awkward sentence and is likely to lead to confusion.

      In our Rule 5 of Pronouns, we give examples of completing sentences by adding words, such as Tranh is as smart as she/her. If we mentally complete the sentence, we would say, “Tranh is as smart as she is.” Therefore, she is the correct answer.

  84. Angela says:

    Is it possible to address the matter – They vs Them.

    Consider the sentence: The man boasted to his friends that he was a better singer than ___. (they OR them).

    • Mentally complete the sentence. “The man boasted to his friends that he was a better singer than they were.” Therefore, your sentence should be:
      The man boasted to his friends that he was a better singer than they.

  85. Fernando says:

    I have a colleague who writes “Am” instead of “I’m” – is tha correct? For example she will reply in email correspondence by saying “Am working on an answer to…” – is that correct?

    • We do not recommend leaving out the word I before am. It appears that some people are allowing a few of the abbreviated forms they use in text messages to carry over to their emails.

  86. johanna says:

    “dude stop creeping on steffi’s and my conversation.”. please correct me if i am wrong :).thanks!

  87. N.KUMARESH says: is the greatest and most useful website.

  88. Tina says:

    Hi I am curious why in my English book the following sentence is correct.

    Him and me have been seeing more and more of each other.

    I thought it would be he and I.


    • Are you sure your English book is not using this sentence as an incorrect example? If not, it seems that you found an error in your English book. Him and me are not subject pronouns and you are correct that the sentence should read “He and I have been seeing more of each other.”

  89. jones says:

    can you please help me with this..

    Are jones miles and cheska blame an official couple?

    i think it sounds very weird.i would rather ask this way…

    Are THEY an official couple?

    but i still want to know if my grammar is correct.

  90. Don says:

    Another grammar trend I’ve noticed is the use of “myself” in place of I or me. It hurts my ears to hear the language butchered like this. For instance, I heard on the radio; “For more information, call myself, Joe Smith at…”. Or you hear a lot of people say “John and myself did this or that”. The proper word to use in those examples is clear when you apply the usage rules above. When is myself the proper word choice?


    • You are correct. Rule 7 in the “Pronouns” section of our website says, “Reflexive pronouns – myself, himself, herself, itself, themselves, ourselves, yourself, yourselves– should be used only when they refer back to another word in the sentence.
      I worked myself to the bone.
      My brother and myself did it.
      The word myself does not refer back to another word.
      My brother and I did it.
      Please give it to John or myself.
      Please give it to John or me.

  91. Ronin says:

    How do I express mutual possesion by a person and myself. For example, is “Hers and my car” correct? I know I can easily say “Our car…” but I would like to know the longer phrasing.

    • We indirectly address this situation in Rule 8 of Apostrophes, “Use the apostrophe and s after the second name only if two people possess the same item.” However, The Chicago Manual of Style addresses this issue directly by stating, “Closely linked nouns are considered a single unit in forming the possessive when the thing being “possessed” is the same for both; only the second element takes the possessive form.” Therefore, the correct phrasing would be “Her and my car.”

      • Avnish says:

        Can this not be “her car and mine”?
        Which would be the most appropriate amongst all of the above?

        • If we want to convey that both people own one car together, the most direct expression would be “our car.” The longer form would be “her and my car.” Although more stilted, an expression such as “her car and mine” would be clearest if preceded by a singular identifier (e.g., “It is her car and mine”). Without that identifier, we might not clearly indicate whether we are referring to one car or two.

  92. Lourdes says:

    Is this correct, “I wish I could be somewhere where all of my loved ones and I were in one place.”? Thanks a lot!

    • While the sentence is grammatically correct, it sounds awkward because the language used is rather vague. Rule 1 in our “Effective Writing” section of says, “Use concrete rather than vague language.” We recommend “I wish my loved ones and I could all be together in one place.”

  93. Dianne says:

    which is correct??

    The Executive team and I look forward to serving you lunch.


    I and my Executive team look forward to serving you lunch.

  94. vanessa says:

    Why, oh why ,do we have to put the quotation marks outside the punctuation points unless the punctuation is actually included in the quotation? It makes absolutely no logical sense to me!!

    • The fact that “Periods and commas always go inside quotation marks” has simply become a rule that is easy for people to follow and does not always follow logic. With other punctuation marks, question marks for instance, their placement does follow logic. This is the English language–not always logical!

  95. Jennifer says:

    I’m still confused about what to write as a title under a photo (and the “why” behind it).

    Meli and I at the restaurant.

    Meli and me at the restaurant.

    • When you are placing a title under a photo, your most likely meaning is “Meli and I are at the restaurant.” You are using the subjective case “I” because Meli and I are the subjects of the sentence. Therefore, your shorthand way of writing it would be “Meli and I at the restaurant.” In the unlikely event that you intend your caption to mean “This is a picture of Meli and me at the restaurant,” then you would use the objective case “Meli and me at the restaurant.”

  96. Patti says:

    I’m trying to help a friend who has written a book. It’s very poorly written, with multiple grammar and punctuation errors. The thing driving me nuts is her habit of changing pronouns within a paragraph — sometimes in the same sentence! (Ex: “When the Holy Spirit tells US to move, YOU move.”) What is the rule for this? She flings around, “we”, “you”, “I”, “me”, “us”, etc. until I have no idea what she’s saying.

    • The Chicago Manual of Style, rule 5.40 says, “A personal pronoun agrees with the noun for which it stands in both gender and number {John writes, and he will soon write well} {Sheila was there, but she couldn’t hear what was said}.”

      Pronoun consistency in a sentence is important to the reader’s comprehension of the written piece. Quite often the word “you” gets overused and causes the kind of reader distraction you describe. From your description, unless your friend is willing to take classes and is open to regular feedback from a teacher on grammar, punctuation, and effective writing, he or she will need a good editor and proofreader.

  97. CaySedai says:

    I was cured of “me and” at an early age when talking to my dad one day. I started saying something about “me and Donna” (my sister) and he interrupted me. “Mean Donna?”

    So now whenever I hear someone say “me and” I get a flashback to “mean.”

  98. Doc Carter says:

    I am questioning my own sense of grmmatical usage when it comes to the usage of “me.” So many references on TV now seem to put the pronoun “me” before the other pronoun or noun. For example:

    “Me and Sue are going to the game.” This form of usage has really caught on with young people. Why is this usage acceptable or is it?

    The reference seem impolite and grammatically incorrect. Is it?

    • In your example, the correct usage is, “Sue and I are going to the game.” “Me and Sue are going to the game” does seem impolite and most certainly is grammatically incorrect.

  99. Natalie says:

    How would you say:

    Rachel’s and my party

    or Rachel and my party

    or Me and Rachel’s party

    or Mine and Rachel’s party

    or what?

  100. Alan says:

    It was I you saw.
    It was me you saw.
    It was I who you saw.
    It was me whom you saw.

    Which is/are correct?

    • Alan, this one is extremely tricky! The sentence should be, “It was I whom you saw.” We use the subject pronoun I because it follows the state-of-being verb was (as discussed in an earlier blog, “Pronoun Tips”). However, use the objective form whom, because it answers the question, “You saw whom?” Also, there is nothing wrong with the simpler, “It was I you saw.”

      • Alisa says:

        Jane, would it be correct to say “it wasn’t I” instead of “it wasn’t me”?

        • Our Rule 2 of Pronouns says, “Subject pronouns are also used if they rename the subject. They follow to be verbs such as is, are, was, were, am, and will be.” Therefore, it is grammatically correct to write “It wasn’t I.” In informal English, most people tend to follow to be verbs with object pronouns. Many English scholars tolerate this distinction between formal and casual English.

      • Jennifer 2017 says:

        I do not agree with “It was I you saw.” Because you do not say “You saw I.”, you say “You saw me.” So, “It was me you saw.”

  101. John Doe says:

    There’s an error in my previous comment; the last word of the first sentence in the second paragraph, after the colon, should be “him,” not “he.”

    Also, I’m now realizing how clunky the contrived sentence “Ann was behaving like he behaves” is, so I’m leaning towards the objective case being correct.

  102. John Doe says:

    In the sentence “She was behaving like him,” should the last pronoun, him, be changed to the subjective case (he), or remain in the objective case?

    You could argue that ‘like’ is functioning as a preposition in this sentence, and so, because the pronoun is the object of that preposition, it should be in the objective case: he. However, you could also argue the opposite by reasoning that the more verbose version of the sentence would read: “Ann was behaving like he behaves,” in which case, the subjective case would be more suitable.

    • According to Rule 5 in the “Problems with Prepositions” section of, “The word like may be used as a preposition and in informal writing, as a conjunction. In formal writing, use as, as if, or as though rather than like as the conjunction.”

      Depending on whether the writing was informal or formal, you could either write “She was behaving like him,” or “Ann was behaving as he behaves.” The other sentence, “Ann was behaving like he behaves” would only be acceptable in informal writing.

  103. Jen says:

    And, ooops! I put my period outside my quotation mark! I just can’t get my fingers to learn to do it this way! :(

  104. Jen says:

    Interesting. I was taught, “there is no point in our talking” (actually, “speaking”) rather than “in us talking”. However, I was raised by a British English speaker. So, is this way incorrect or simply a difference in the two versions of English? Do you know?

    • We don’t know for sure. In both Jane’s book and website, we are emphasizing proper American English usage.

      • Rosemarie Parks says:

        With reference to the query from Jen, 25th March 2011, whether the phrase “there is no point in our speaking” is correct, or whether it should read “there is no point in us speaking”, please permit me to point out that both constructions are correct. In the former, speaking following ‘our’ is a gerund, whereas in the latter speaking after ‘us’ is the present participle.

  105. Rajat Bansal says:

    Thanks Jane, This is definitely going to help. I have to take my GMAT soon. Can you suggest some good references for overall improvement in grammar for competitive exams like GMAT/GRE ?

  106. Jane says:

    This rule does exist in another authoritative source. According to The Chicago Manual of Style, Section 6.33, Commas with coordinate adjectives, “As a general rule, when a noun is preceded by two or more adjectives that could, without affecting the meaning, be joined by and, the adjectives are normally separated by commas. Such adjectives, which are called coordinate adjectives, can also usually be reversed in order and still make sense.” In your example, “Felix was a lonely, young boy” makes the same sense as “Felix was a young, lonely boy.” Regarding the pause in the sentence, not every comma implies a long pause. A slight pause between the two adjectives sounds natural, in my opinion.

  107. Linda Castagnoli says:

    Caption for under a picture. Which one is correct?

    My mommy and I?
    My mommy and me?

    • Jane says:

      My mommy and me. (You would not say that it is a picture of I.)

      • Moni says:

        This post is so clarifying and important, thank you! If eg I post a picture of my daughter and I, would it be incorrect to write ‘She and I’? So the correct version would be ”She and me’? I’m confused because I thought I should use the subject pronoun. Thank you!

        • “She and I” is correct if your meaning is “This is my daughter and I.” If you intend your caption to mean “This is a photo of my daughter and me,” then you could write “Her and me.”

  108. Eugen says:

    Is it “there is no point in he and I to talk” or “there is no point in him and me to talk”? Also, is it “there is no point in me reviewing the documents” or “there is no point in my reviewing the documents”?

  109. Angela says:

    He followed the boys and I. Or he followed the boys and me?

  110. Buddy says:

    Are “am,” “are,” “is,” “was,” and “were” the only “state of being” verbs, or are there others?

    • Jane says:

      There are other state-of-being verbs in other tenses, including, for example, “has, had, will have been, and will be.

    • Stuart says:

      Seems, appear, and similar verbs can be verbs of being. “He seems calm” is grammatically equivalent to “He is calm.” I believe “become” and the rather rare “waxed” can also be state-of-being verbs. “She became sorrowful”; “He is becoming a man.”

  111. Anne-Marie Anderson says:

    Is it proper to say “graduated high school”? I thought that one graduates FROM high school.

  112. Irvin Provow says:

    You have no idea how much this is going to help me.

  113. Ed Katz says:

    The money came from him and me.

    The money came from he and I.

    The money came from Taryn and me/I.

    Which is correct?

  114. Maria Guerrero says:

    In reference to the time frame in the previous question, why is there a comma between the dates “Between July 1, 2010, and August 30, 2010, …” ? One doesn’t place a comma in the phrase “between you and me.” Are these phrases not similar?

  115. Maria Guerrero says:

    In reference to the time frame in the previous question, why is there a comma between the dates ~ “Between July 1, 2010, and August 30, 2010, …” One doesn’t place a comma in the phrase “between you and me.” Are these phrases not similar?

  116. Ima Biltit says:

    Please punctuate the following: between July 1 2010 and August 30 2010 the heat index will soar

    Many thanks for settling an argument at work.

  117. Laura says:

    Is this sentence correct:

    It was in the same room as me.

    Should that me be changed to I?

    • Jane says:

      Change “me” to “I” because you are really saying, “It was in the same room as I was.” With “as” and “than,” mentally complete the sentence.

  118. Ezra says:

    Some people who post pictures online write “John Doe and I” as the caption as if to say, “John Doe and I are in this picture,” or “This is John Doe and I.” I would prefer to write “John Doe and me” as if to say, “This is a picture of John Doe and me”? Would it be more correct to use the former with the idea that a person looking at the picture would be more likely to ask, “Who is this?” rather than, “Who is this a picture of?”

    • Jane says:

      Both ways are correct for the reasons you state. Good job!

      • Marla says:

        You wouldn’t say, “This is John Doe and I,” so saying, “John Doe and I” about a picture is INcorrect. You’d say, “This is John Doe and ME,” so you label pictures, “John Doe and Me.” You and John aren’t DOING anything, so “I” is wrong. If the picture were John Doe and you swimming, and you labeled/captioned the picture, “John and I went swimming,” or, “John and I were swimming in this photo,” then sure. In my opinion, a photo should NEVER be labeled, “_____ and I,” because if you took the other person out, you wouldn’t label the picture, “I”!

        • We have a more liberal view regarding I vs. Me when labeling pictures. We take the approach that interpreting captions beneath photographs is a matter of getting inside the mind of the creator of the album. In forming a caption, the album creator is anticipating the question and memorializing the response to “What is this a photograph of?” John and me may be shorthand for “This is a photo of John and me swimming in Lake Tahoe.” Or, John and I may be shorthand for “In this photo, John and I are swimming in Lake Tahoe.”

  119. Man-Khoi says:

    I’ve been reading a book and this sentence just troubled me so much,
    “No one was more amazed than she.”

    Is “she” correct? Because I think “her” would sound more familiar.


    • Jane says:

      Yes, the sentence should read, “No one was more amazed than she.” If you mentally complete the sentence, you would say, “No one was more amazed than she was.”

  120. jeff says:

    My family and I are
    My family and I am
    which do it be?

    • Jane says:

      “My family and I are…”
      Use the plural verb because “and” makes the subject plural.

      • charles says:

        How about this….”Bread and butter IS/ARE sweet”

        • Jane says:

          Since you have two subjects, use the verb are and use a period at the end of the sentence.

          • Aegrescit medendo says:

            I get that there are two subjects but how do you know if they are together or separate? Doesn’t the is/are convey that information?

            Peanut butter and jelly are delicious.
            Peanut butter and jelly is delicious.

          • Our Rule 4 of Subject-Verb Agreement states “As a general rule, use a plural verb with two or more subjects when they are connected by and.” There are exceptions to this rule when the subjects or nouns in the sentence form a single entity or unit, collective idea, or oneness of idea. In these cases, the interpretation of “oneness of idea” is essentially up to the author of the sentence.

      • Stanley says:

        When you say, “my family and I are,” do you also say, “my father and my friend are”? I think the two subjects represent a single idea and should use a singular verb. Right?

        • Our Rule 4 of Subject-Verb Agreement says, “As a general rule, use a plural verb with two or more subjects when they are connected by and.” Compound nouns such as bed and breakfast are exceptions. “My father and my friend” is not a compound noun. Therefore, the plural verb are is correct.

  121. Seth Florentino says:

    “That is between Maxene and I.” What is wrong with this sentence?

    • Jane says:

      The word “between” is a preposition requiring an object of the preposition (objective case) following it. “Me” is the objective case pronoun, not “I.”

  122. Jane says:

    The rule for choosing the case of your pronoun with “as well as” is actually simple. Just mentally complete the sentence: You know that as well as I know that OR You know that as well as I do.
    Therefore, you would say or write, “You know that as well as I.”

  123. Rahul says:

    there is a sentence which is bugging me

    what should i use here

    You know that as well as ME/I.

    is there any rule for as well as


  124. Jane says:

    Yes, the preferred order is to put the other person’s name first, then I/me.

  125. Art says:

    Is there a rule for determining the order of objects, ie Jim sent the notice to me and Bob, or Jim sent the notice to Bob and me. I believe there is a rule on subects that person must be given preference, ie Bob and I versus I and Bob.

  126. Vivian Keller says:

    It is interesting to hear the reasons for not speaking grammatically correct that people write in to different sites I’ve visited. I personally think it is because for decades now, it has not been taught fully in schools and thus not handed down through the generations. Poor grammar is rampant in the media and you even see it in the books with which we teach our children to read. When teachers and parents alike are not speaking proper language, it can be a losing battle. People get so used to speaking slang that it becomes the new language. You mentioned that we should keep it alive in formal language, but why not in informal speech as well? Or is it too late for that? I think that if we teach the proper forms, that perhaps we can arrest the dwindling spiral of proper speech to some degree. “At least the “Me and Joe are going…” and the “I can’t see very good” type slang. It may be too late for the It is I. It is he etc. as it’s been lost for several generations now, at least in every day language(from my observations).

    • Barbara says:

      Do you recall all adults correcting grammar mistakes when growing up? It certainly was that way for me. At the time I did not appreciate it but now I am grateful. In the public schools in the state I live in, dissecting sentences is not taught. The whole language phenomenon, as a teaching method, is a total misstep. No phonics, no spelling tests, the idea being as long as the student comprehends what he/she is reading or writing learning is accomplished. That is half the goal and our college’s and universities do not know what to do with these kid’s. Just my opinion. Feel free to correct my mistakes!

      • Thank you for your comments. Good grammar and writing are not easy to master. Since you gave us permission to correct your mistakes, here is your paragraph with the errors corrected:

        Do you recall all adults correcting grammar mistakes when you were growing up? It certainly was that way for me. At the time I did not appreciate it, but now I am grateful. In the public schools in the state I live in, dissecting sentences is not taught. The whole language phenomenon, as a teaching method, is a total misstep. It has no phonics or spelling tests, the idea being that as long as the student comprehends what he or she is reading or writing, learning is accomplished. That is half the goal, and our colleges and universities do not know what to do with these kids. That is just my opinion. Feel free to correct my mistakes!

        • Gouchybear says:

          One minor correction me thinks…

          “Do you recall all adults correcting grammar mistakes when growing up? It certainly was that way for me. At the time I did not appreciate it, but now I am grateful. In the public schools in the state I live in, dissecting sentences is not taught.”

          Should not “the state I live in” be changed to “the state in which I live”?

          Just asking and NOT trying to be a grammar Nazi, as G_d knows I am far from perfect in my usage of the language, written or spoken.

          From my own experience, high school in the early to mid 70’s was mostly crowd control, with very little actual “teaching” being conducted. Both of my parents were not well educated, having come from the hills of Kentucky (father born 1924, and mother born 1933). My father left high school at the age of 17 to answer a higher calling; he enlisted in the Navy on December 8, 1941, to fight in WWII in the Pacific. However, what he lacked in formal education he more than made up for with innate abilities in mechanical engineering and math.
          My point here is that I, like many of us, am a product of my environment; I didn’t learn much in high school (I excelled in college however) so I learned (mostly) by observing, and listening to, my parents. Even today, at the age of 58, I catch myself saying things like my dad and mom used to.
          (And I miss them both terribly…)

    • Cheryl says:

      Is is not correct to say grammatically correctly. Instead of grammatically correct?

  127. Jane says:

    I’m always hesitant to correct people’s speaking habits, but I agree that if we all heard the language being spoken properly, we would be more likely to write it the same way.

  128. Sebastian says:

    Whether language changes through laziness or conscious choice is irrelevant. I’m sure we all stopped speaking like Shakespeare because it was just too much effort “laziness” improved the language in that sense. Rare are the times when language is consciously altered.

  129. J says:

    “between you and I” has been in use since the 1600s.

    • Jane says:

      Maybe so but “between you and I” is inconsistent with the rule as “I” is the object of the preposition here.

    • George Lakins says:

      Regarding “between you and I/me”, I was taught to consider “between” as a literal place, rather than a figurative place. It should be treated like “beside” or “in front of”. If the answer to, “where is the table,” is, “beside me,”, then “between you and me,” is correct. As always, take the other person out of the sentence, and the correct usage should appear.

      • Benson Nzusa says:

        Correct George lakins, I concur with your comment on omitting a word in order to derive a correct answer. My question is, is it correct to say; John is taller than I. Or is it; John is taller than me.

  130. Jim Giles says:

    I am sure Mr. Neal would be flattered by your association between he and I.
    Not to be overly picky but that’s two MAJOR errors in the space of four words.
    Personal pronouns like he and I are subjects of verbs and so must be followed by a verb.
    Him and me on the other hand are the objects of verbs and should be used instead here as they clearly are objects of association.

    He and I are going to town but it was a toss between him and me who would drive.

    I am amazed at how many people mix personal pronouns like this, but must add that it has become a lot worse in the last 5 years thanks in no small measure to exceedingly badly written newspaper and website articles. Still, this is high school stuff and people our age should NOT be making these errors. We are better educated than that.

    • Jane says:

      Jim, you’re correct that the sentence should read:
      I am sure Mr. Neal would be flattered by your association between him and me.
      “Between” is a preposition so pronouns following it are objects of the preposition. “He” and “I” are subject pronouns while “him” and “me” are object pronouns.
      Don’t be scared of using “me” in a sentence!

    • barb tabak says:

      I’m so glad to see the comment that the degradation of grammar is at least partly due to poorly written newspapers articles and websites. I’m wondering how long to keep “fighting” this — especially the common failure to use the predicate nominative (“it was she”). I have a college age daughter whose English prof says that sometimes incorrect grammar becomes “correct” through usage. “The language changes, Mom,” I am told. But NOT the written word, I say!

      • Jane says:

        Barb, it’s true that usage does change the language or we’d all sound as though we’re reading Shakespeare. However, laziness isn’t a great excuse, is it?

      • Michael says:

        Actually, correct grammar takes into account the full range of meaning, including things like tone, emphasis and euphony. English grammarians apply rules for individual words, such as pronouns, mechanically, with no regard for phrasing. Just as the French change final “je” to “moi,” for euphony, many final uses of “me” as the subject are perfectly correct in English, because the usage conveys qualities of speech not captured by word-rules disconnected from phrasing. Thus, “that’s her at the door now” is correct grammar, because “her” conveys the desired phrasing, which includes emphasis and tone. Even in writing, it would look and sound bizarre to write “that’s she at the door now,” even though the pronoun stands in a subject relationship with “that.” On the other hand, one cannot say “there’s her at the door now,” and no native speaker would say that. Everyone says “there she is now. Initial “there” and initial “that’s” lead to different phrasing. Correct grammar is important, but grammarians have fallen into the error of treating words like numbers, with fixed values in all situations. Language is not mathematics.

        • We agree that conscientious writers remain aware of and open to sound and phrasing as much as they do grammatical accuracy. At the same time, we believe your observation has greater relevance and application to spoken English, which is more swift and expedient in adapting to what is audibly pleasing. The “mathematical” component of written grammar gives us the time, tools, and economy to revise “That’s she/her at the door now” to “She is at the door now.”

    • Aggie L says:

      My Canadian friends, one an author, claim they learned in school to use I even as an object pronoun, such as “Henry invited Jane and I to the movies.”

      Is this possible?

      • While our focus is on American English (not Canadian or British), we would guess they were taught incorrectly. We are not aware of “I” ever being used as an object pronoun.

        • MDMTahiti says:

          If one could read a British newspaper up to about 1820, I was regularly used as the objective form. One would commonly read things like, “Your attention is most flattering to I”. Lovely.

          • You may be correct, and we’d welcome an authoritative reference to substantiate the fact, if you could provide one. In the meantime, our 1941 edition of Webster’s New International Dictionary, unabridged, tells us that I was commonly used as an object pronoun during and shortly before the 17th century.

    • Sandra Lawton says:

      I completely agree. I’m glad to see that I am not the only one bothered by this. I have actually heard an English teacher start a sentence with “Her and I…” and have heard other college graduates utter the words “Me and her…,” “Him and me…,” and “…with her and I,” among other gaffs. They should teach English like they teach a foreign language, where you have to conjugate verbs, like the verb “to be”: “I am,” “you (sing.) are,” “he/she is,” “we are,” “you (pl.) are,” and “they are.” I hear and read so many grammar mistakes these days; it makes me wonder if anyone is even teaching children proper English grammar anymore.

    • Jay says:

      In regard to Jim Giles’s comment of February 25, 2007, I wonder whether part of your sentence should be phrased as “poorly written,” instead of “badly written”?

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