While English is one of the most difficult languages to learn, it is often even more difficult to communicate when translated from another language. Even so, people in other countries often go out of their way to reach out to English-speaking tourists, often with unintended, humorous results. Here are some signs gleaned from various websites, including www.interweavers.com/brett/humor/signs.world.html and www.engrish.com/, that have amused (and confused) even the most jaded of us.

Cocktail lounge, Norway:
Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.

Doctor's office, Rome:
Specialist in women and other diseases.

Hotel, Acapulco:
The manager has personally passed all the water served here.

Information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner, Japan:
Cooles and heates: If you want condition of warm air in your room, please control yourself.

Car rental brochure, Tokyo:
When passenger of foot have in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigour.

In a Nairobi restaurant:
Customers who find our waitresses rude ought to see the manager.

On the grounds of a private school:
No trespassing without permission.

On a poster at Kencom:
Are you an adult that cannot read? If so, we can help.

In a cemetery:
Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own graves.

Tokyo hotel's rules and regulations:
Guests are requested not to smoke or do other disgusting behaviours in bed.

On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:
Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.

Hotel elevator, Paris:
Please leave your values at the front desk.

Hotel, Yugoslavia:
The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.

In the lobby of a moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery:
You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.

Hotel, Zurich:
Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.

A laundry in Rome:
Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.

In a Swiss mountain inn:
Special today - no ice-cream.

Airline ticket office, Copenhagen:
We take your bags and send them in all directions.

Jane Straus is an entertaining teacher, lecturer, and author who loves a good laugh but also dedicates herself to teaching people the correct usage of English. Her very popular book, The Blue Book of Grammar and Punctuation, is an easy-to-use reference guide and workbook. Do you need this book? Try one of the Interactive Tests to find out. Receive your scores and the correct answers instantly.

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